Some Things

• As of today I'm blogging the Olympics for Yahoo!'s Fourth Place Medal. I'm basically the Blog Costas of the Internet. That doesn't really mean anything, but it sounds kind of important. Nonetheless, Blog Costas says you should read my writing over there.
• Additionally, I'm still writing at Ball Don't Lie, too. Read it. (You already are.)
• What does all this mean for The Blowtorch? I don't know. You might not believe this, but these jokes I come up with come pretty quickly, so I'm hoping to continue making these jokes. Outside of during the actual Olympics (Feb 12-28 only on NBC and Yahoo!), things should still be active around here, but maybe a little slower. My fingers are just thinking out loud right now.
• I'm on Twitter again. NETWORKING.
• Remember that book I was writing? LOLers, me too. It's finished, but rather than settling for publishing it myself, I'm going to at least try to sell it. Why not, right? It's 2010. If that fall through, THEN I will settle for publishing it.
  
• That's enough inside blogsball. Here's a picture of Harry Potter at a Lakers game:
  

Big Up Yourself, Christopher Columbus

Sup bros. No basketball jokes today. I'm busy ollie-ing some indy nosebones and grinding rails. Might throw a method air in there a little later, but I'm not sure. Just typical skateboarding stuff. You understand.

Out of Office

I'm going to be in Colorado (the state) for the next week. It's pretty likely that there is going to be nothing happening around this place, friends. Who knows? Maybe I will blog, maybe I will Tumbl, maybe I will write you all letters (I will not write you all letters). Nonetheless, here are some ways to stay entertained in my absence.

• Passion of the Weiss's 50 Greatest Rap Albums of the 2000s. I wrote Food & Liquor, Lord Willin', The Renaissance, and Stankonia. There's a lot of good rap writing there.
• The Phenomenal Swag archive. Tons of completely pointless basketball products, several jokes.
• Call me at 708-303-TREY (8739). Leave me a message. It just might be used in a future Blowtorch post or podcast. Clicking this thing below will somehow connect you to the Blowtorch hotline, through magic.
  
  
  
  

I'm Busy

Hey bros. No jokes today, probably, since I won't have too much time to formulate thoughts. I'm officiating a wedding tonight for my best friend, Brian Scalabrine, and I'll be away from the computer for the most part. Love y'all.

Shameless Plug: My Book Cover

Tentatively, this is the cover of my book, The Blowtorch's Big Book of Basketball Facts. It will be profiles of 100 current players with COMPLETELY TRUE facts and backstories that you have never heard before. It will be released at the beginning of the 2009-2010 season, most likely independently. Sample chapters are available here. Get excited.

Come Watch a Game with Me

Tonight at 7:30 Central time, I'll start heating the coals in my sauna. They'll be nice and hot by tip-off. Anyone who wants to join me is welcome. Bring your own towel.

Why I Want a Kobe vs. LeBron NBA Finals

content supplied by BetUS.com

I have been secretly rooting for Kobe to reach the finals. Not because I am a Kobe fan or a Lakers fan, but because I want to see the undisputed top two NBA ballers go head to head for a best out of 4 series.

If I was a NBA betting man I would have to give the edge to Kobe and the Lakers because of their experience and depth but the way Lebron and the Cavs have played a team game there just might not be a way to stop them.

In my generation this will be the first time two players who each have a case to be called the best will go head to head. Now dont get me wrong, but there was always something missing when i watched Michael Jordon in the NBA playoffs...he never played against the best. Magic Johnson in 1991 was past his prime and about to come out with his HIV diagnosis. Clyde Drexler? No. Charles Barkley? Nope. Karl Malone? No Rings. Hakeem Olajuwon? Maybe.

Magic had Bird, which was probably the greatest rivalry in the mid-80s. And Russell had Wilt in the 60s. Wilt was headed out when Kareem came and Walton wasn't there long enough.

There's no dispute now. Kobe and LeBron are one/two in some order, best in the East and best in the West. LeBron's going to get there. But I don't know about Kobe and the Lakers. The Lakers were almost embarassed by Houston. Now they have to deal with the Nuggets. Kobe has to be his best even before he gets to meet the league MVP.

Now all I have to wait for is the Kobe vs Lebron props to be available.

I Made It

Sorry

No posts today. Except this one.

Good Action I

As there is nothing actually happening in the NBA today or yesterday (aside from the Devil collecting on last year's deal with the Celtics) here's some good action:

• During the playoffs, I'll be doing little videos for Hardwood Paroxysm. There is going to be no editing or coherence or substance, so you should definitely tune in. Apparently, there will be antiquated sayings.
• I've also recently started writing little music blurbs for The Singles Jukebox. I know just as much about music as I do about basketball. Take that for what it's worth.
• One last thing I tend to know lots about: random basketball goods. As such, I'm now writing the Phenomenal Swag posts for Skeets.

So those are other places you can find my musings on various subjects. Now on to more good action.

• Here's a video of me performing Seal's number 1 hit "Kiss by a Rose" while driving around with Lady Gaga:
• If you'd like all The Brad Miller Show videos, along with outtakes, never-before-seen footage, and other extras on a DVD for a low price, email me. I'm talking nice menus, high quality video, and laughs for literally probably an hour, all for around 6 dollars. It's an unbeatable deal. Also, be on the lookout late this summer for an amazing Brad Miller production.
• As a reward for making it this far (you haven't made it this far), here's another chapter of my book. If you, or anyone you know, want to publish it, email me. I'm easily bought.

(click for full-size)

I'm in Alabama

I am driving a Chevrolet Aveo.
I am staying in a Holiday Inn.
I am eating at a Waffle House.
I am getting sunburned.
I am wearing boat shoes.

Ergo, content will be meager until Thursday.

But first, a two man play I call "We Move as One."

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We Move as One

Fin.
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Programming Note: OFF

Since I'll be in Toronto until Tuesday evening, I'm leaving the Blowtorch in the paws of my cat Boots with the Fur. She's not a great typist, but she's pretty witty. For instance, it was her idea to poop on the floor in that Brad Miller video. That being said, she's a reclusive genius; the Dave Chappelle of cats, if you will. I wouldn't count on her posting anything, but you might be able to find Blowtorch-branded silliness in or about other Internet locations.

In Passing

Maybe go read this interview with Brian/The Cavalier/YAY!Sports/Mad Props to Baked Potatoes/Brian's Thoughts About Airplanes. He's the only guy who can make me appear dumber than I do. Also, buy his book.

Sup, Y'all

Hi, guys. It's me.

You might remember me from this website, but back when it was functional (circa 2k8.9). I've been busy in real life. I bought a house, got married, sailed at least two of the seven seas, and got the best pair of custom Chuck Taylors in existence.

But now I'm back.

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Now, over these last three weeks, due to the above mentioned circumstances, I've seen probably 10 minutes of NBA basketball. I saw parts of quarters 2 and 3 of the Lakers-Celtics game*, which I am aware that the Lakers won. My only other NBA exposure during this time has been a graphic on a Spanish CNN network based out of Denver (really) that depicted Stephon Marbury and the Boston Celtics logo. Since I haven't studied Spanish in at least 8 years, I couldn't make out what was happening; and since my Google Reader is swamped from weeks on inactivity on my part coupled with the hyperactivity of the ShareBro commission I can't quickly find the story. I feel as if I've missed a joke that I should have made months ago, but such is life. The beauty of Marbury is that it's only a matter of time until the next joke arrives.

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So I return to you refreshed, clueless, and trying to balance the creative realizations I had while on a crowded bus travelling to Xunantunich, Belize. This is currently The Blowtorch 2.3, but the phases that might take place could result in a 2.3.1, 2.4, or even 3.0. There are ideas I have which are bigger than any I've undertaken thus far, and after digesting both Outliers and The Watchmen, I would be remisce to not see these through. It is all part of The Blowtorch, and Trey, and Goathair/Goatman. How could they not be? As Salvador Dali siad, "my works are different parts of my personality." And just as he did, I'll wake up and be a little bit more myself every day.

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Oh, and I got the Penny 2s for Christmas. They're spectacular.

*Strangely, this occurred on two different nights as the game was replayed the following night at about 2am.

On Hiatus

Due to various life things, posting at the Blowtorch will be minimal if any at all for the next two and a half-ish weeks. I don't have the time to commit to joking about Tony Parker. Upon my return from the Caribbean sea, I will be back.

Peace be with you.

Quick Little Bits of Knowledge

• There will be no Blowtorch Presents this week, since it's Thanksgiving. But don't worry, next week will make up for it. There's going to be a new second banana that's not actually a banana. I'm quite excited.
• Not sure if there will be anything happening here Thursday or Friday. I'd say it's a 50/50 proposition.
• Lastly, enjoy not sleeping again. Ever:

The Blowtorch Link Drop of October 14th

I'm not a link-drop kind of fellow, but maybe I should be. Let me know if that's something that's necessary. Anyways, here's other things I've been doing.

• At HP, a Kings preview. Wherein, I plead for internet support of the Kings.
• At HP, a Bulls preview. Wherein, I examine the impact of lowered expectations.
• With Matt, TRAP and PYRAMID. This is just basically leftovers that don't fit anywhere else. It's simple and pretty much great. Check it out or I'll punch you in the leg.
• Big ups to the weirdest thing I've seen on the internet in some time -- the Grill Project. I was lucky enough to be featured. Go check it out, you'll be horrified and delighted all at once.

User Generated Content

Remember the Erik Spoelstra Green Screen Challenge? HUGE SUCCESS. Well, a couple of jacks sent in some Spoelstra goodness. And they're actually very nice.

"Spoelstrito"

"Erikong"

Since it was only these two, I'm keeping my fine linens.

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I hope you haven't forgotten about that legendary day when Antoine Walker participated in a defensive drill in practice. A refresher:

ANYHOW, the following exchange occurred in the comments. Friend of The Blowtorch, Devine, tells it like it is.

Apparently, my blog is "trash." And since I don't know what posting comments "as people" means, I'll just say, "Hi hater."

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I'm doing things with Matt for his previews, so check over there.

Ch-Check It Out

My latest HP post. 98% made up, 2% silliness.

Back Soon

I'm out of town for the next three days. Sorry, humans. I'll have a few things here and there since they're very mobile friendly but probably nothing here.


However, I will recommend that you buy this shirt. I did.