We Are Clippers

"We Are Clippers"
- a poetry slam by Baron Davis and Eric Gordon -
We Are Clippers
Not by choice
But by calling
(Except Baron -
he chose)

We Are Clippers
Through thick
and through thin
Through loss
and through win
But when?
When will we win?
We Are Clippers
We win when?

We Are Clippers
We grow beards
The beards, they are weird
That's what I've hear-ed
But the word
It is 'heard'
We Are Clippers
We need clippers

We Are Clippers
We Are Clippers
Clippers, we are

Eric Gordon and Baron Davis Wear Fat Pants

Phone rings

Pete Serrano, equipment manager: Hello.

Elgin Baylor: Hey, Pete. It’s Elgin.

PS: Not too bad. Just finished up that knee sleeve that’ll cover Shaun’s scars. Those things are gross.

EB: Oh, excellent. That’ll help keep the fans in the seats. Anything we can do to not terribly horrify the fans is a win in my book. And we need wins, am I right?!

PS: We do need wins, that’s for sure. Anyway, what’s up?

EB: Well, we just drafted Eric Gordon. We’re going to need some massive shorts.

PS: Are you serious? Eric Gordon from Indiana?

EB: Yeah, that’s him.

PS: Geez, Elgin. I don’t know where I’m going to find shorts that big. I mean, yeah, you can find some big shorts, but they’ll come down to his ankles. I guess I can see if the Bulls still have the pattern to Khalid El-Amin’s shorts, but that’s going to be a shot in the dark.

EB: I would have suggested Priest Lauderdale, but you’d get the A-line skirt thing going on.

PS: How do you know about A-line skirts?

EB: Project Runway.

PS: Ooooh, great show. So, anything else I can do for you?

EB: Yeah, there’s one more thing. We just signed Baron Davis. He’ll need some big shorts too.

PS: You’re killing me!

EB: Hey, Donald’s actually spending. I’m not passing that up.

PS: You’re right. But this is going to kill our fabric budget. NBA mesh goes for 75 bucks a yard. Between Gordon and Baron, that’ll be, like, 900 dollars.

EB: Luckily Shaun’s really skinny. Just don’t skimp on Kaman’s shorts. That’s just wrong to even think about.

PS: Yeah, that makes my man parts hurt picturing it.

EB: …

PS: …so, um, I’ll get to work on those fat shorts.

EB: Thanks, Pete.

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