My brother, my dad, and I got together to discuss the upcoming season last night. Here's what we came up with. No thinking, just emotions.
Start 9:00
Boston Celtics
Really want this team to get punched in the face even though some of their players are chill. The whole is less chill than the sum of the parts.
New Jersey Nets
Chateau Kerby's fourthish favorite team, only because of Brook Lopez and Devin Harris.
New York Knicks
"Whoops." -- Mike D'Antoni
Philadelphia 76ers
Really like the shape of Lou Williams's head, very Seattle era Sam Perkins.
Toronto Raptors
Prepare to be disappointed.
Chicago Bulls
An impending sense of the sadness. Possibly the end of The Blowtorch if/when Brad Miller gets traded.
Cleveland Cavaliers
Insufferable.
Detroit Pistons
More like "Detroit" "Pistons."
Indiana Pacers
History's first uptempo team prominently featuring five white guys. Also, Five Guys burgers are overhyped, but still pretty good. Cajun fries are the real find there. As such, someone on the Pacers will be nicknamed "Cajun Fries".
Milwaukee Bucks
Can't stand ya.
Atlanta Hawks
Will win somewhere between 44 and 46 games forever.
Charlotte Bobcats
Whatever.
Miami Heat
Kind of think Dwade is going to leave because he doesn't like being in the sun because it makes him sweat too much and his skin burns then his wife is all like "I told you to put on sunscreen" then Dwade is like "I forgot and now my lips are chapped." This may be projecting.
Orlando Magic
Actually, surprisingly very excited about the Magics.
Washington Wizards
C'mon Internet. It's the Wizards. Chill out.
Denver Nuggets
By far the most meme-worthy of all NBA teams. Data Traveler 4GB contains SO MANY weird Nuggets pictures from this summer.
Minnesota Timberwolves
Can't decide between Minnesota TimberLOLves or Minnesota TimberWhoops.
Oklahoma City Thunder
Probably Chateau Kerby's third favorite team.
Portland Trail Blazers
Really want this team to get punched in the face even though some of their players are chill. The whole is less chill than the sum of the parts.
New Jersey Nets
Chateau Kerby's fourthish favorite team, only because of Brook Lopez and Devin Harris.
New York Knicks
"Whoops." -- Mike D'Antoni
Philadelphia 76ers
Really like the shape of Lou Williams's head, very Seattle era Sam Perkins.
Toronto Raptors
Prepare to be disappointed.
Chicago Bulls
An impending sense of the sadness. Possibly the end of The Blowtorch if/when Brad Miller gets traded.
Cleveland Cavaliers
Insufferable.
Detroit Pistons
More like "Detroit" "Pistons."
Indiana Pacers
History's first uptempo team prominently featuring five white guys. Also, Five Guys burgers are overhyped, but still pretty good. Cajun fries are the real find there. As such, someone on the Pacers will be nicknamed "Cajun Fries".
Milwaukee Bucks
Can't stand ya.
Atlanta Hawks
Will win somewhere between 44 and 46 games forever.
Charlotte Bobcats
Whatever.
Miami Heat
Kind of think Dwade is going to leave because he doesn't like being in the sun because it makes him sweat too much and his skin burns then his wife is all like "I told you to put on sunscreen" then Dwade is like "I forgot and now my lips are chapped." This may be projecting.
Orlando Magic
Actually, surprisingly very excited about the Magics.
Washington Wizards
C'mon Internet. It's the Wizards. Chill out.
Denver Nuggets
By far the most meme-worthy of all NBA teams. Data Traveler 4GB contains SO MANY weird Nuggets pictures from this summer.
Minnesota Timberwolves
Can't decide between Minnesota TimberLOLves or Minnesota TimberWhoops.
Oklahoma City Thunder
Probably Chateau Kerby's third favorite team.
Portland Trail Blazers
Still employing Juwan Howard. Thanks, Blazers.
Utah Jazz
Kinda feels like the Jazz have neither added nor lost anyone from their team since Raul Lopez flamed out.
Golden State Warriors
Whatever.
Los Angeles Clippers
Hate you for making Bill Simmons look smart.
Los Angeles Lakers
I'm trying to grow my hair out in to some hybrid of Pau Gasol and Rudy Fernandez.
Phoenix Suns
Utah Jazz
Kinda feels like the Jazz have neither added nor lost anyone from their team since Raul Lopez flamed out.
Golden State Warriors
Whatever.
Los Angeles Clippers
Hate you for making Bill Simmons look smart.
Los Angeles Lakers
I'm trying to grow my hair out in to some hybrid of Pau Gasol and Rudy Fernandez.
Phoenix Suns
Miss you.
Sacramento Kings
Inexplicably a team that I enjoy watching. Blame it on Ziller.
Dallas Mavericks
How many more teams are there because I'm getting tired of this. Basically the Utah Jazz of Texas.
Houston Rockets
Basically the Houston Rockets of Texas.
Memphis Grizzlies
Dreading the "watching this team is like watching a trainwreck" jokes that are surely being typed right now.
New Orleans Hornets
Sorry, Chris Paul.
San Antonio Spurs
Tell me have you ever, really really loved a woman.
Sacramento Kings
Inexplicably a team that I enjoy watching. Blame it on Ziller.
Dallas Mavericks
How many more teams are there because I'm getting tired of this. Basically the Utah Jazz of Texas.
Houston Rockets
Basically the Houston Rockets of Texas.
Memphis Grizzlies
Dreading the "watching this team is like watching a trainwreck" jokes that are surely being typed right now.
New Orleans Hornets
Sorry, Chris Paul.
San Antonio Spurs
Tell me have you ever, really really loved a woman.
End 9:16
