Coaching the Knicks is a tough job. I had no idea. I mean, I spend most of my down time driving through the Italian countryside in my Fiat; I can't be expected to know how the New York Knicks have been mismanaged. Anyways, the guy before me was apparently some very bad manager, and the team he left me with is pretty terrible. Sometimes it makes me very angry.
It's just so silly that I have to deal with this one guy, Steven something, who thinks he's a great point guard. It's pretty depressing really, how he thinks of himself. I came from years with Steve Nash, who, aside from being super sexy, is also a legitmately great point guard. It's a real bummer.
I try to stay upbeat, I really do. I try to encourage my players. I give them rousing applause whenever they deserve it.
But most of the time, they're such idiots I have to come down pretty hard on them. It's terrible. They won't respond to anything. There's these two fat guys we've got that want to spend all their time cruising for chicks and going to drive-thrus. No matter how loud I yell, I can't get through to them.
It's a conspiracy, I swear. Even the refs are against me. So, of course, I try to explain to them that my team is full of idiots, but they don't care.
So when all that stuff is happening, and I just can't take it anymore, I do what any sane man would do.
I DANCE! I dance, dance, dance. I can't even explain how great it feels. All my troubles just drift away. I love New York.
