On July 30th, the Cheesecake Factory will be offering every one of their cheesecakes at a discounted price of $1.50 a slice. Sure this seems like a good idea, a nice way to honor their 30 year anniversary. But consider the consequences, I've produced a flow chart for easy viewing.
As you can see, virtually every imaginable scenario is perilous. I suggest stocking up on non-perishables, bottled water, and batteries. You have 5 days to prepare for the apocalypse.
